after school mud soccer game (in demins lol i managed)

omg pls dont make it rain tomorrow im begging you lord have mercy

gtfo typhoon

Best day! scored two goals at the game awhile ago :D couldn’t get any happierrr. I played it cool in the field of course, but deep inside I was like WAAAA WAA WAA I SCORED!!1!!1! OMGGUGAFSHDJDKSMNSHSKDHSGAJ. It was supposed to be three goals actually, it was /THISSS/ close but superhuman Ken like teleported infront of me and did his thing smh.

STILL! OMFG

I can’t wait to leave my college so I can attend the training laterrr I want to cut waa

and I hope it doesn’t rain tonight ‘cos like MUD

I had another panic attack awhile ago. or it was probably hyperventilation? I’m not exactly sure what’s the difference but w/e, I only googled. I’ve experienced this shit for the first time last year in October and I swear it’s terrifying as fuck, I thought I was going to die. Funny how I often pull “panic attack/hyperventilation” jokes when in reality, it’s not the least bit hilarious. It’s actually the worst feeling EVER. I don’t even understand the reason for these attacks, but as I’ve observed, it always occur when I’m outside. I have no idea how it works at all, one second I’m feeling okay then BAM, next thing I know, my heart’s beating furiously, my chest is aching ‘cos I couldn’t breathe and I need a sea of oxygen, I feel like I’m choking, I’ll go real nauseated to the point I want to throw up, my fingers will start tingling/vibrating real bad and then it’ll spread all over my face (especially my nose and the roof of my mouth) down to my legs and I won’t be able to move smfh. The frustrating part is when my hands go paralyzed like idek they’ll just freeze and I’m like HOLY SHIT move or I’m gonna creyy.

Thank goodness I was with my friend Anne tonight, we rode the bus together otw home and we’re just chatting random when I turned into a fucking human vibrator -.- But at least I had someone to calm me down, this has happened to me a few times and I was alone I swear I had the biggest urge to grab a stranger and ask him/her to bring me to the ER. Anne’s also familiar with this syndrome w/e you call it, so when she mentioned hyperventilation/panic attack I was like ‘I know!! well, I’ve read about it on the internet’ lol. Which brings me to the question: WHY IN THE FUCK? like seriously, it doesn’t make sense I wasn’t even upset or anything I’m just sitting there chill and all. When I’m mad or freaking out, my vitals signs are pretty fucking stable. I’ve talked to my mum about this a couple of times and she wanted me to see a physician, and a shrink FML. 

I mean God, just stawp et.

P.S I woke up at 2AM for no reason. they say I drink too much coffee.

Wow our soccer coach texts like a freaking novelist. everything’s so detailed cant evenn

can it be saturday already please? i can’t wait to play soccer againnn huawerfjskfhfbnjgnsk

What I did today:

• Went to class - dismissed at 1PM
• Gym with Alliana until 3
• Ate a donut (2 hrs of work out wasted SMFH)
• Grocery shopping
• Laundry a ton of my forever soiled clothes

Something is wrong with me atm, I’m supposed to be creyin out of exhaustion but idk I’m alright. plus I’ve been quite productive!

Not a bad first day. need to keep it up hah

Up ever so early for the first day of classes 2k12. Here we go ughhen. See you Benilde round 5763845th. and potential new friends

can i just drop out of college pls

Just got home omg played soccer from 2PM to 10PM. I’m fucking exhausted aahhh but I really had an awesome time~ I was useless for most part of our game but whatevs haha I’m the shittiest striker on the face of the planet.

Our training wasn’t bad too! though I’ll have to admit I loath the drills, I swear I look like fucking retard when I’m at it. I wish I can exempt myself from doing them next week smfh

Coach Jet is also super nice! and approachable idek he needs an award or s/t. Everyone on the team was actually very laid back and nice so we’re definitely coming back next sat :) can’t wait.　

The end

DEAD

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Gad we’re postponing our supposed trip tomorrow, for another two weeks. I proposed this plan like fucking January/February. We’ve been adjusting foreverrr and like I’m always free and ready to go but some are not. 

My class starts on monday fml

I probably should just go to the beach alone…

if this “two weeks” bs doesn’t work again. I’m gonna strangle someone for real

Anymotherfuckingway, soccer tomorrow! yeehaw　

I went HEY, THIS IS CRAZY so I googled the lyrics lol dafuq is wrong with me smh